I have learned that some of life’s most valuable lessons emerge unexpectedly through everyday encounters. On one such occasion, I met Sally, a marine scientist and biologist. While enjoying a quiet coffee, Sally noticed my little dog and was immediately drawn to her. She paused before leaving, asked if she could spend a few moments playing with her, and what was intended to be a brief interaction naturally evolved into a warm conversation lasting nearly twenty minutes. Before saying goodbye, Sally invited me to join her for coffee the next following day.
The following day, we picked our conversation right where we left off. As we talked, my interest in our connection peaked, not simply because of her scientific background, but because she presented an opportunity to explore an important aspect of psychological health. Beneath her intelligence, curiosity, and professional achievements, I sensed patterns of thought and emotional responses that many people quietly experience yet rarely recognize.
To me Sally became much more than a pleasant acquaintance. She represented an educational opportunity – a reminder that every individual carries a unique psychological landscape shaped by personal experiences, beliefs, personality traits, and life circumstances. It reinforced an important principle that I have observed throughout my years in clinical practice: no single therapeutic approach including meditation, is equally suitable for everyone.
This encounter inspired me to reflect on meditation from a different perspective – not as a universal technique to be prescribed indiscriminatory, but as an intervention that should be thoughtfully tailored to the individual’s emotional state, cognitive style, health condition, and personal needs. Just as medical treatment is individualized, meditation should also respect the uniqueness of the person practicing it. “Rather than presenting meditation as a simple relaxation technique, it introduces the concept of individualized psychological care, which aligns perfectly with philosophy and your experience.”
This is becoming a very compelling case. Sally is not presented as someone with a mental illness. She is highly intelligent, passionate scientist whose mind is constantly scanning, analysing, and responding to her environment. Many readers especially professionals, researcher, healthcare workers, and academics – will identify with her.
There is misconception of many people include Sally which is “Meditation doesn’t work for me.” Scientific sound message: Meditation was never the problem, the chosen technique simply did not match the individual’s cognitive, emotional, and physiological profile. Attention is trainable. Different brains have different attentional styles. Scientist, artist, musician, nurses, teachers, athlete, or person living with anxiety may each benefit from different forms of meditation.
The goal of meditation is not to “empty the mind” rather, it is to cultivate an appropriate relationship with one’s thought, emotions, body sensations, and surrounding environment. This aligns well with current neuroscience. We know that meditation can influence attention regulation, emotional processing, autonomic nerves system balance, and neuroplasticity. However, these benefits are most likely to emerge when the practice is appropriate for the individual rather than applied as a rigid universal prescription. Meditation is not one size fits all: a tailored path to emotional well-being, finding the right practice for the right person.
Back to the Sally’s case. Following unexpected meetings with Sally, discovering her highly observant and her analytical mind, understanding why previous meditation attempts hadn’t suit her. After a friendly discussion about mindfulness meditation, Sally showed interest to visit me and experience it as guided meditation in my place. Now we reached the guided meditation with Sally. Before meditation with her ensure her psychological safety and physical comfort and ensure her willingness to do it with me. “Current research supports the idea that a relaxed, supportive posture and a sense of safety help facilitate relaxation and sustained attention.” Sally appeared ready to begin. “We can observe readiness, but we cannot know it with absolute certainty.” As I observed Sally’s gentle smile and relaxed facial expression, she appeared ready to begin our fifteen minutes guided meditation.
There was no sign of apprehension or discomfort. Instead, she seemed calm, receptive, and curious about the experience ahead. Before commencing, I made final check to ensure that she was sitting comfortably. “Physical comfort is often underestimated, yet even minor muscular tension or an unsupported posture can become a distraction during meditation.” My aim was to minimise unnecessary discomfort so that her attention could gradually shift inward. I placed a soft cushion behind her lower back to provide additional support and promote a natural sitting posture. Rather than asking her to maintain a rigid position, I encouraged to allow her body to settle comfortably. “Meditation should never become an endurance exercise; comfort enables the body to relax and the mind to follow.” I then sat quietly on a chair beside her and gently reassured her that we would undertake the meditation together.
Knowing that she was not alone helped create a sense of safety, trust, and companionship. Particularly for someone experiencing guided meditation for the first time. The presence of a calm and supportive guide can reduce uncertainty and foster confidence throughout the experience. Everything was now in place – a peaceful environment. Before closing our eyes, we completed five slow breaths together, we inhaled gently through the nose for four seconds and exhaled slowly for six seconds. Prolonging the exhalation helps support parasympathetic nervous system actively, encouraging the body to move gradually from state of alertness towards one of relaxation and calm. It also establishes a steady breathing rhythm that can be maintained throughout meditation. When we both settled, we gently closed our eyes. In a soft voice, I asked Sally,” what is your favourite flower?” red roses, she replied I then asked “who is the person in your family whom you love the most? My mother, she answered without hesitation. Wonderful, I said, now let us begin a peaceful journey together. I invited Sally to imagine that we were standing before the entrance to a beautiful rose garden.
The surroundings were quiet, peaceful, and filled with natural beauty. As we approached the gate, I slowly counted backwards from six to one. With each number, we took one slow deep breath, allowing our bodies to become increasingly relaxed. As the gate gently opened, I encouraged Sally to walk slowly along a peaceful garden path. On her right side were magnificent red roses while beautiful white roses bloomed on her left. The garden was silent except for the gentle rhythm of her breathing. With every slow inhalation and exhalation, she took one mindful step forward.
I invited her to carefully pick one red rose with her right hand as a gift for herself and one white rose with her left hand as a gift for her mother whose birthday she had told me was on the twentieth of July. There was no hurry. Each breath, each step, and each flower became part of a calm and deliberate rhythm. Gradually Sally collected ten red roses for herself and ten white roses for her mother. Her attention remained gently anchored to the breathing, the walking, and the meaningful act of selecting each flower. When she reached the end of the garden path, I invited her to pause quietly for a few moments and simply appreciate the peaceful surroundings. We then slowly retraced our steps, breathing calmly as we walked back toward the garden gate, carrying the roses with us. Once we reached the entrance, we gently returned from the imagined garden, bringing with us the same sense of calm and tranquillity.
Throughout the entire journey, Sally remained fully engaged. Her attention flowed naturally between her breathing, the imagery, and the symbolic meaning of the roses. Afterwards, she described the experience as entering “a spiritual, conscious moment” – a state of peaceful awareness unlike anything she had experienced during her previous attempts at meditation, she confirmed. We visited each other often since; she mentioned excitedly that she continues practicing meditation on daily basis successfully. Sally said she had a better concentration, better sleep and improved her thought patterns since she has regularly been practicing. I reassure the readers that struggling with meditation does not mean they are incapable it may simply mean they have not yet found the approach that fits them.
I personally named the technique I had with Sally successfully as: The Zahra Meditation Method.